After the Love Has Gone: Read-Aloud for the Young and Restless

At the invitation of the fabulous Jen Robinson, I am so proud to be a participant in the Share A Story, Shape a Future initiative, an "annual blog tour for literacy." For five days, "we harness the power of the Worldwide web to share ideas about ways to engage kids as readers." If you haven't been following all along, look forward to treating yourself to a weekend of delving into inspirational posts about the power of print, discovering amazing real world book lists, and connecting with your children's book-loving brethren!

The initiative was great out of the gate thanks to an invitation to share what works and what excites us to share via writing prompts by Terry Doherty, with provocative points for discussion every day that followed. Day two was all about "Literacy My Way" in which creative articles collected by Susan Stephenson of The Book Chook conspired to demonstrate that there's more than one way to skin the proverbial reading "cat." Day Three was hosted by Sarah Mulhern of The Reading Zone, featuring "The Nonfiction Book Hook," showing how books about real things lead to real reading. Day four was hosted by Donalyn Miller, author of one of my favorite recent teacher resources, THE BOOK WHISPERER, celebrating the theme of "Old Favorites and New Classics." And today at Jen Robinson's Book Page, we have "Reading for the Next Generation," and I am glad to be a part of that list today, riffing about that unthinkable time when your child doesn't want you to read aloud any more. Maybe they are busy "tweenagers." Maybe they think read-aloud is for babies. Maybe they want to do it themselves. Maybe there is a divergence of interests. Sniff-sniff! What to do? Here are some strategies to bring even the biggest or busiest kid back to the book.

Communicate honestly. Tell your child in plain English (or Spanish or Japanese or French or Pig-Latin) that you know he is a great reader; this is simply very important to you. Explain that reading out loud is who you are (or want to be) as a parent, that you look forward to it and would miss it if you didn't. Explain that reading out loud is a present you are trying to give and it will change his life in amazing ways, if he could just trust you on that now. Explain that read-aloud is something you do in this family no matter what age anybody is, and you hope he will grow up and do it for his children as well. Your child may allow you to begin reading just to get you to stop talking like this.

Wheedle a little. "Did I not do for you all day? Do now you do this one thing for me." Effectiveness of guilt trips may vary according to cultural tendencies ingrained for generations. Some children have developed an immunity.

Go to bed a little earlier. Sometimes children are just plain tired at the end of the day and konk out as you begin reading, or are simply too cranky to listen. Go to bed about twenty minutes earlier to improve read-aloud mood and attention span.

Go to bed a little later. This is a good bargaining chip for older children. Offer that they might stay up a half hour later if you can spend it reading together. If they are old enough to give you an attitude about it, reasonably suggest you try it for just a week and serialize a novel. They'll be hooked.

Change the schedule. Bedtime seems to be the reading time of choice, but be versatile when your family's needs demand it. If your schedule doesn't allow you to read aloud before bed, try reading aloud during breakfast instead, or before homework (believe me, there's nothing going on in the homework that read-aloud won't help). Just try to be consistent in whatever time you decide on; regular read aloud impacts academic achievement more dramatically, and makes reading part of your lifestyle.

Pick with passion...and the person...in mind. I had a woman complain that I overstated the cause of read-aloud because she tried to share John Knowles A Separate Peace, which she had never read herself, with a seventh grader. It didn't go over too well. Hey, guess what? William F. Buckley isn't watching you read, or double-checking your curriculum. If you have a child who would prefer some quality time with Lyle, Lyle Crocodile to what looks good on a college application essay, how about cutting you both some slack? On the other hand, if the likes of A Separate Peace is your all-time favorite book, that passion will permeate your reading. The bottom line for elementary school children, which is easy to forget in the current climate: don't read for a resume. Read because it's a pleasure.

Turn the TV or computer games off. Match time spent staring at screens with time spent reading aloud. Rule of thumb: use your library card at least as often as you use your Blockbuster card or Netflix membership. If you are contending with real video game addiction issues, use "successive approximations toward the goal," a.k.a. baby steps by letting them earn time; for every half hour of read-aloud, give them a checker from an old board game that they can "spend" on ten minutes of screen time.

Make read-aloud a reward. Extra help with the housework or good grades can mean an extra story or chapter at the end of the day. This demonstrates the value of read-aloud.

Let someone else read-aloud. Have a guest reader, such as a grandparent, the spouse or partner who doesn't usually read aloud, a family friend, an older sibling. Or get a book on tape, but get the book in print as well, and follow along so your child still gets the exposure to print.

Make a list. Sometimes just keeping track of what you're reading inspires children to read more. It's fun to watch the list get longer and longer! You can even jot down titles and dates on the door, by the growth chart.

Go to the library or bookstore more often. New titles can jumpstart interest. So does choice.

Take turns reading aloud. You read a page, your child reads a page. Or, take parts in dialogue. Praise ability generously! This kind of encouragement, especially as children get older, can be hard to come by at school and makes read-aloud extra pleasurable.

Read aloud what you never thought you would. Give in to your child's desires. Let them pick anything, anything they want. So, it's the five-hundred-page Technical Manual of All-Your-Never-Wanted-to-Know About Race Cars/Arachnids/Dragonslaying. So, it's a magazine article from Teen-Beat-Me-Over-the-Head-with-Makeup-Tips or an interminable day in the life of the boy who looks like a vampire. Remember, lots of non-readers find connection to print through non-fiction. Your willingness to share in your children's interests not only improves their self-esteem, it makes you look cool and (almost?) worth talking to. Besides, if your children are interested in it, how bad can it be? (Don't answer that.) If it's more than you can bear, negotiate: One thing you pick, one thing I pick.

Be pragmatic. If your child won't sit for a novel after many attempts or has attention deficit problems, or your work schedule leaves you panting, try a short story instead. Or a poem a day. Or assigned reading from school that would have to get done anyway. Or a play, where you can take parts.

Give in, but read alongside. If you've tried these strategies but read aloud is still a battle, ease up. Fighting is counterproductive. If your child won't come around to join you, you can still model read-aloud with your spouse or partner. You can also compromise by getting book lights and reading silently alongside your child. Remark on notable passages you come across, and ask sporadic questions the the reading inspires (even the reflective ones that have no ready answers) that encourage your child to do the same with you.

I hope you'll share your own strategies in the comments section. It's not always easy to read-aloud every day, but there are good reasons to give it your best try. Not only because over ten thousand pieces of research, compiled and distilled through the Department of Education in its report "Becoming A Nation of Readers" suggest it's the most important thing you can do to ensure academic success, and that it should continue through the grade levels. It has to do with creating an intrinsic value in reading, it has to do with deciding what's worthwhile to do with our time even when forces may pull us all in so many other directions. Most of all, it has to do with saying to a child, "you're worth spending time with, you're worth sharing with," saying I love you with every page turned until the child's heart is filled with the confidence that comes with both knowledge and support. And whether you're a teacher or a parent, isn't that what shaping a future is all about!

Throughout this post you'll find covers from a few more favorite read-alouds , mostly taken from my Reading Resuscitation List: THE TWENTY-ONE BALLOONS by William Pene du Bois; THE WRETCHED STONE by Chris Van Allsburg; THE GRIFFIN AND THE MINOR CANON by Frank Stockton; THE BIG ORANGE SPLOT by Daniel Pinkwater; THE QUILTMAKER'S GIFT by Jeff Bumbeau, illustrated by Gail de Marcken; ZLATEH THE GOAT AND OTHER STORIES by Isaac Bashevis Singer, illustrated by Maurice Sendak; POOP by Nicola Davies, illustrated by Neal Layton; THE BIRCHBARK HOUSE by Louise Erdrich, and the trusty D'AULAIRES BOOK OF GREEK MYTHS. I like books that I can read aloud in a room whether there is an eight year old tucked in, a twelve year old, or both. What books have worked for you? Which have reignited the fire? Which books did your children teach you to love?

And one more thing: the fifteen points in this post are all dedicated to my almost-fifteen-year-old son, in appreciation for letting mom read aloud A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN by Betty Smith, and listening while dad shares YOU CAN'T WIN by Jack Black. Thanks, R.

"Share a Story, Shape a Future" button art by Elizabeth Dulmeba.
These strategies were excerpted from "What to Do When Your Child Doesn't Want You To Read-Aloud,"
from HOW TO GET YOUR CHILD TO LOVE READING, Esme Raji Codell, copyright 2003, Algonquin Books.
Links are provided for informational use. Don't forget to support your local bookseller.
More Esmé stuff at www.planetesme.com.